Pointers on How to Prepare for Marriage
There are many things you can do now in preparation for your future marriage. Whether or not you’re in a serious relationship is not even an issue. The earlier you start working on yourself, the better.
Here are five steps to get you started:
Review your habits.
Do you have any habits which you suspect might bring conflict to your relationship with your future spouse? For example, do you never put the toothpaste cap back on, or do you have a tendency to shop too much? If you think you could use others’ opinions, don’t hesitate to ask your closest family members and friends. But let them talk freely without fear of offending you. Improve your conflict resolution approach. Your single years are the best time to define your conflict resolution style and how you can improve it. Think of the last two or three conflicts you’ve encountered. How did you respond to them? What do you think could you have done differently?
Be more forgiving of yourself.
Everybody has imperfections, including you, so learn to take yourself less seriously. Start with your minor faux pas, like never learning to pronounce certain words right or always losing your car keys. Instead of being angry, try to find humor in the situation and move on. Embracing yourself for your all that you are can be so liberating.
Find servanthood opportunities.
The best marriages are those where spouses are happy to sacrifice for each other and forget their own needs for the other. During your single years, start cultivating a sense of servanthood. Look for opportunities to serve your community or your local church. This could mean volunteering to babysit for single mom, driving an elderly neighbor to a friend’s house, or participating in your church’s outreach programs. With servanthood being an everyday part of your life now, you will be prepared for it in marriage later on.
Have a friend inventory.
Lastly, it’s important that you have a support system that helps you become a good better half to your future spouse. A quick friendship inventory will let you know if you have that kind of friends. You can start by answering a few questions. One, do they think that marriage should be valued? Two, do they treat people of the opposite gender with respect? Three, are they brave enough to correct you when you’re wrong? It’s possible they don’t know themselves from this perspective. If you ask them to encourage you in specific areas of your life, they may be happy to oblige. Remember, choosing your friends is not a mistake. It’s not wrong to want to be with people who will create a positive influence in your life.